Secrets of the Narcissist. Psychologist Stanislav Sambursky spoke about the behavior of such people

Even the most “powerful” narcissist hides the unpleasant side of his personality from people. It’s a secret secret he wants to forget, but can’t. So what do narcissists hide under the guise of self-praise?

  • Control
  • grandiosity
  • Arrogance and envy
  • Hypersensitivity
  • Protection

Everyone knows that the behavior of narcissists is confusing, says psychologist Stanislav Sambursky. Their actions evoke shame, resentment, and a sense of imperfection. It is impossible without embarrassment to be near such a “deity”. At such moments, it is important to remember: the behavior of a narcissist is a protective mask, behind which he hides a cowardly, defenseless and small person.

His terrible secret lies in the fact that under the outer armor there is an insecure person who is in dire need of loved ones. To keep them, he resorts to control and power.

Alas, he is not aware of any other behavioral tactics. This raises a logical question: “How does he manage to hide his fear and insecurity from society so skillfully?” To do this, he uses several tools.



To be safe, the narcissist needs to control and influence people’s minds. It transforms their consciousness, adjusts their feelings, thoughts, actions. Having achieved results at this stage, he steps over to another, where he begins to demand, belittle and manipulate.

The third step gives him an imaginary security, since now his person confidently rises against the background of the humiliated and offended. Usually the desire to subjugate people comes from childhood, because that is how he was treated at that period of life.


The next thing that makes the narcissist “be at ease” is an inexhaustible source of boasting, tales of his greatness and power. For this, ordinary people are not enough for him.

“Happiness” is brought by acquaintances with wealthy sections of society, representatives of the authorities, etc. Influential friends and acquaintances give confidence. Expensive purchases are being made. Thus, low self-esteem and cowardice briefly fade into the background.

Arrogance and envy

The life of a narcissist is a constant torment of envy. If he smashes the weaklings to smithereens, then he is wary of strong competitors. Someone else’s superiority is unbearable!

He is the best in the world, which means that no one else can outdo him. Envy breeds hatred for competitors. And in such a situation, it is quite “reasonable” to go over the heads, as well as revenge for non-existent grievances.


Due to excessive insecurity, narcissists demand constant praise for themselves. This is a doping, without which they cannot live. Any criticism, no matter how constructive it is, is taken extremely sharply.

You may not agree with the narcissist, but then expect the following: either he will force you to accept his point of view, or he will call you “the most pleasant” words he knows.

His hyper-susceptibility to criticism is a consequence of self-doubt. The narcissist lives by the principle: if he is not praised, then he is criticized. Praise must be constant. She energetically feeds him and gives strength to act.

The actions of the narcissist are empty and devoid of responsibility. He does not accept the golden mean. There are only two options – good or bad. Making a mistake, the narcissist instantly goes into the rank of losers. Shame and insecurity rage inside. To realize the mistake and admit the guilt is like death.


When things don’t go according to plan, the narcissist turns into a child. It is normal for children to deny guilt and lie to avoid punishment. Narcissus does the same, but the game doesn’t end there. Accusations are coming. Everyone is to blame for his misfortune: from the cashier at the grocery store to the state.

It is useless to admonish and instruct on the true path. This is a waste of time, because you will be the one to blame. This is the final move of the knight, that is, a projection. Transfer all the blame onto your neighbor and accuse them of their own sins: inadequacy, stupidity, excessive sensitivity, selfishness and weakness.

From time to time, the actions described above help narcissists hide their terrible secret from people and ruin their lives. Knowing these aspects will help you get out from under their influence.

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