It’s no secret that there are not so many people with adequate self-esteem.
However, the reasons for this phenomenon should be sought even in early childhood.
Parents who use not quite correct methods of education are largely to blame.
Clinical and family psychologist Yekaterina Kes, an expert on the BelNovosti online publication, talks about the signs that indicate a child’s low self-esteem.
First of all, adults should understand that the future of children largely depends on self-esteem.
The following depend on the perception of oneself factors:
– the quality of future adult relationships;
– study and training;
– the desire to achieve goals;
– the ability to defend their borders;
– having your own opinion and a clear position;
– success in work.
As you can see, adult life will directly depend on children’s self-esteem.
Which signs will tell you that the child has problems with self-perception:
1. He does not want to try his hand at contests and competitions, as he is sure of his loss and is afraid of becoming a laughing stock.
2. Is critical of his appearance and speaks negatively about it.
3. Does not try to solve the problem, but simply takes the negative result for granted.
4. Compares himself to other guys, noting that they are better than him in everything.
5. He behaves rather closedly with both children and adults.
However, this can still be corrected, since the child’s psyche is plastic and largely depends on the attitude of others.
What should parents do to raise children’s self-esteem
1. Try to focus on bright character traits. For example, you can always note perseverance, diligence, the desire to succeed.
Instead of criticizing, it’s better to say nice things.
2. Give up the method of comparison with others: as you yourself understand, this method shows its inconsistency. Even a rare adult, having heard that the “son of a mother’s friend” does everything better, wants to change something for the better.
3. It is important for a child to feel that he is loved just like that, and not because he has achieved some worthwhile results. Therefore, try to respect his feelings and say something nice more often. You don’t have to wait for a special reason to do this.
4. Many parents make the following mistake: they ask their children to help with something (even with household chores), and then they forget to even thank them corny.
It seems insignificant to you, but it can be unpleasant for a child. Set a positive example and always thank for any help.
5. Give up public showdown: if you decide to chastise for some kind of misconduct, then you should do it without prying ears and eyes. When viewers are present at such moments, it literally destroys the child’s self-esteem before our eyes.
6. During the showdown, try to be as constructive as possible: instead of just scolding, help the children analyze the situation. It is this approach that will help the child to do “work on the mistakes.”
It is always worth remembering that children are waiting for the reaction of the most important adults in their lives – mom and dad.
Therefore, you should not be rigid: such an approach will definitely not lead to good results.
Photo: Pixabay
